Broken Homes equals Broken Children
According to the Center for Disease Control's National Vital Statistics Report of 2002, 50% of first marriages ended in divorce and 60% of remarriages end in divorce. Although statistics have greatly improved a great deal since then, the divorce rates are still a concern in America. With these kinds of statistics, and with all the problems and pain a couple goes through, why would people still choose to get married?
Even though marriage receives much bad press, walking down the aisle is still a very popular desire for many young people hoping to marry one day. It is human nature to want to be nurtured and feel secure. Getting married is still desired by most because it offers the promise of unconditional love and companionship.
However, marriage is much more than simply a wedding ceremony or honeymoon. It is more than just the intimacy and fun that every couple deserves. Marriage is about building a family. This means that usually, raising children is apart of the marriage partnership. Raising children means that you will be required to provide shelter, clothing, education, and love to your children. Just as couples want to feel they belong to a loving relationship, so do their children. It also goes without saying that if a marriage is broken, the children would be emotionally affected by it. Understanding the effects of divorce on children is very important. It's not always easy, when a marriage is struggling and someone is hurting. Parents must always consider the effects of divorce will have on their children.
There have been specific studies focusing on the effects of divorce on children. Studies show that children from a broken homes are emotionally affected by the breakup and they know that that their lives will never be the same again. Children fear change. Children could lose time with one of the parents due to divorce, or lose contact with extended family. School routines and home locations may change.
Children have a fear of being abandoned. When parents are at odds and are either separated or considering separation, children have a realistic fear that if they lose one parent, they may lose the other. The concept of being alone in the world is a very frightening thing for a child.
Children who have a natural attachment to their parents also fear losing other secure relationships such as those they have with their friends, pets, siblings, neighbors, and so on. Sometimes children are simply attached to their surroundings, so moving into new surroundings can cause an understandable negative reaction. Divorce has also been found to be associated with a higher incidence of depression; withdrawal from friends and family; aggressive, impulsive, or hyperactive behavior; and either withdrawing from participation in the classroom or becoming disruptive.
Academically, children are greatly affected because of their parents divorce or separation. Children from divorced families drop out of school at twice the rate compared with children from “intact” families. They also have lower rates of graduation from high school and college. Children from divorced homes performed more poorly in reading, spelling and math.
Moreover, children of divorced parents are more likely to become delinquent by age 15, regardless of when the divorce took place. Anecdotal evidence points out that parental divorce and living in a single-parent household can influence a person to have thoughts of committing suicide. Drug use in children is lowest among those children who have been spared from the effects of parental divorce.
Even if there are have been tension and problems at home, some children will be shocked to learn that their parents are getting a divorce. It may take some time for them to acknowledge and accept that their lives will be different. To help a child cope with shock and stress, parents should be patient with them, ease into the new routines and living situations if possible and constantly express and reassure their love to them. Based on research, these are the top five reasons why people get married:
1. To signify a life-long commitment
2. To make a public commitment
3. To legalize their partnership or for financial security
4. To formalize their partnership as part of religious belief
5. To provide security for children.
When reality sets in, many marriages fail to survive. Despite all the happiness and joy between the man and woman during the early years of marriage, they often still end up separated or divorced --- placing their children's security, health, and well-being at serious risk.
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