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Mother's Day Brings Back Memories of MOM

Mom - It is 11 years since she passed.

I was sitting at my computer playing games when suddenly I began crying for my mother.  She died 11 years ago. Then I remembered, it was the end of November that I called 911 and she went to the hospital.  It was the day after Thanksgiving.  We had no idea that she would be gone just a month later from stomach cancer.  I thought the hospital would say it was something simple, but they cut her from stem to stern during their exploratory biopsy.   Her aging 74 year old body just could not handle that.  She died in my home, surrounded by those who loved her.   I did not want her to die alone in a cold dreary hospital, so I had pleaded with the hospital to let me bring her home for Christmas.  They had told me that she only had weeks to live, this was based on the stage of her Cancer. 

I was determined that she would not spend that last Christmas alone in a hospital.  I moved mountains to bring her home for the holidays.  That Christmas, we opened presents at her bedside.  I remember that my daughter hand crotchet a gorgeous blue hat for her.   She only got to try it on that day. (tears).  Sometimes I wear that hat.  I feel the love my daughter put into creating that beautiful blue hat and scarf set.   I keep it as a keepsake now.   I will always miss my mother.   I will always love my mama.  She was an integral part of my life. My greatest supporter and cheerleader.  Losing her was like losing a part of myself.

Her death weighed on me heavy this past year, because it was the official 10th year anniversary of her death.  I remember the last movie that she and I watched together was "Room 1408" with John Cusack.  I remember this distinctly because I find it incredibly weird that the movie was about a character coming to grips with the loss of his daughter.  I do not know why the tears came again today, after so many years.   Sometimes, I think that I just want to hear her laughter again or see that gleaming sparkle in her eyes. 

The one thing I will never forget are the tears that streamed from her eyes while she lay on her death bed.   She died with so many hopes, wishes and dreams still left inside of her.  She possessed so many creative talents and there were so many things that she never got to do, be or achieve.   I am glad in her lifetime, she was able to travel from her birthplace.  I am always grateful that she moved to places like Alaska while she was alive.  I always wonder if life would have turned out differently if we had remained in Alaska instead of returning to the lower 48 in 1997.  It is one of those things that haunts me even now.   

Many people who know me closely, know that I have been an astrologer most of my life. (I started studying almost 40 years ago.)   After looking up a relocation chart for my mother, I warned my mother vehemently about moving to Kentucky.  I told about 4 years before she died, NOT MOVE TO KENTUCKY.   This is because when I did a relocation chart for her and Louisville, KY, I discovered that it was her death zone. She went anyway.  I followed her there about a year later.  Although, living in Kentucky was a struggle, I am glad that I moved there to be with my mother when I did.  It allowed me a chance to spend the last years of life with her.

I formerly acknowledge that my daughter and I are overly ambitious because we both have a deep inner desire to make my mother proud.  My mother died as a penniless pauper. Placed in an unmarked grave.   My daughter took the first money she earned after receiving her Bachelor's Degree and purchased my mother a gravestone.  (tears).  I often whisper this to myself:  "I promise to do my best to make you proud mom.  I promise to make you proud!"

I will always love my mom.  Always. 

About The Author:  Adrienne Igo has more than 20 years in the Recruitment Industry, she runs several small online businesses and is an online social and digital media consultant.  Adrienne Igo once was 500 pounds and spent more than 7 years in a wheelchair before beginning a personal weight loss journey in 2013.  She went from a size 54 dress to a size 12. She currently has over 500 dance and motivational videos on YouTube

 

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